Beautiful Broken Things
by Tellmelowtides
Summary: Sometimes there is a war going on in our heads, and we want nothing more than to run away. But when your instincts are spilt between protecting the ones you love and following your heart it can be hard to run. Especially when your past comes back to haunt you. Jasper-centric, AU, rating subject to change in later chapters.
1. Introduction

Autumn had long since been his favorite season. There was something about the way that the world slowly changed from vibrance and youthfulness to the dreary and worn. A feeling in the air as though the earth itself was releasing a sigh that caused a great depression amongst the masses as the overcast skies blotched out the sun. It was both draining and invigorating at once to watch this happen, to see these changes take place. A familiar pattern that never ceased, the world spun, the seasons changed, green became shades of red, orange and yellow. Soon to be followed by gray and white, a magnificent and altogether wonderous to watch.

It had been something he'd enjoyed during the days of his youth as well. That much he could remember. Watching the sky and the vast landscape as they transformed before his eyes. As a boy he had never been granted the luxury of travel, to see this change happen in other places. But it had not mattered much to him then, the importance of the never changing pattern had failed to be grasped by his frivolous younger self. Too many things had been taken for granted back then. Simple things that he now wished he had understood the importance of.

Texas had been free of the snow that plagued the areas that they now were forced to reside in. It was wild and free when he was younger, nature taking its course out on everything. Mother nature tearing through the towns with bitter winds and rainy storms, displaying her might for everyone to see. Clanging doors and slamming shutters were his memories of winters from childhood. Riding out to the words with his father to retrieve fire wood was another, one of few to survive the years as they faded from his consciousnesses.

These memories of watching fields gray and colors change were held greatly close to his heart. Treasured deeper than perhaps any he owned of the current times. A nostalgic look into times past, the beginning to a story that would never have an end. At least not the kind of ending that would be worthwhile in the grand scheme of the lives of those he had been around back in those times. To them the things he had done were of as little consequence as failing to note the hints of a storm on the horizon. Lackluster and with little fancy he was treated in those simpler times. Craving yet again for that youthful invigorence that seemed to elude him since the day after his turning.

He could remember the feeling of adrenaline as the winds whipped around his body on horseback. Tearing at his skin as the days grew colder and the nights longer as the end of the war grew ever closer. As though he had been born for this he flew across the plaines of Texas, a major in the Confederate Army, fighting for what he believed was their rights. Thinking he was invincible with his handgun in its sheath and his wits about his head. How wrong he had been.

If he could go back and change the outlook he had maintained he would have told himself to not be so cocky. Reminded himself to follow the instincts that had screamed for him to leave the three women alone and run as far away as possible. Foolish was something he had been, even as he had approached his twentieth birthday, thinking he was above things that he knew nothing about.

That last day before the change was the only thing that he could recall with absolute clarity. Everything else remained jumbled snippets of conversations or pictures out of a silent movie. Disjointed, not entirely easy to make sense of and uncomfortable to focus on. Almost like everything he attempted to bring forth from the depths of his human memories was static and covered with a veil of sorts.

It was a thin veil, one that seemed as thought it could be removed with the right amount of willpower. However he lacked both the strength and the motive to attempt to retrieve such trivial things from his past. It was a frivolous experience that neither sated his ever present anxiousness or served to enhance it. The deepest emotional turmoil it could manage to evoke these days was a deep sense of longing for the past.

Autumn was a truly interesting season, for the powerful monologues it seemed to bring forth from the soul. It contained both the peaceful air of summer and the silence of winter. A blissful combination that usually ensured the relaxation of those who set out to enjoy it. However he was acutely aware that this wonderous interlude was nearing it's completion. The world was beginning to learn more towards the depths of the snowy winter than the airy open feelings of the summertime. He was willing to establish and acknowledge that it would probably not be much longer before the snow began to fall again.

And fall it would. Year after year, winter after one. One blizzard would turn into the next and slowly you would begin to forget just how many you had seen. Perhaps that was why he loved the gray space in between as much as he did. It was a force of nature, changing in its tone but never straying from the pattern that it has been set on. The world followed its natural course and he was set aside, caught in an infernal limbo with the time that he never wanted.

He had been wonderfully naive to the true nature of the creatures that surrounded him. Within the same blissful ignorance that encompassed every other member of the human race. Thinking wholly that he would live life until he died, whether it be of old age or some other cause. He had been raised to understand that he should not partake in reckless behavior as any day could become his last with just the slightest mistake. And he supposed that was something that he did miss. The rush, the energy that came with knowing that you could die any second in battle.

The first rays of sunlight were making their appearance over the horizon as he continued to watch the landscape. He loved the mountains that surrounded him in rural Washington, the trees providing the needed cover during days where the sun wanted to finally make itself known. The world before him was beginning to look much like the photos that everyone saw but never imagined that they would get the chance to experience.

Shades of orange, red and gold intermixed within the various tones of blue that claimed ownership over the night sky. Fading stars glimmered slightly at the onslaught and slowly disappeared at the force that was the sun. Moving quicker than the eye could process the light traveled beyond its domain in the sky, warring with the moon for the ability to stay present above human kind. At least that was how he imagined it, a never ending power struggle between the two greatest lights that anyone could ever set their eyes upon.

Closing his eyes he soaked in the rays of sunlight as they hit his face. Providing a needless, but much appreciated warmth to his body as it traveled over the forest and mountain range. There were few things that he found enjoyment in these days, very few pleasantries that he allowed himself to partake in. It was a menial thing, watching the sunrise, under appreciated by most who saw it. He did not fail to realize that he had once been one of those people lost to the true beauty of the world. Taken in and captivated by dangerous desires and other terrible things that had been given too him. It was a wonder that he had ended up the way he was now, not at peace, but content he guessed was the right word. In a place where he was neither living nor existing, just satisfied to remain forever in the gray area between humanity and beyond. Though his moments were growing every shorter the more that the morning dragged on. Closer and closer to the inevitable time when his control would be tested and he would attempt to reclaim a sliver of the humanity that he had lost all those years ago.

A voice broke him out of his revere, breaking through the sounds of nature that surrounded him. But still managing to sound both alluring and almost boisterous at the same time.

"Jasper, come on and get ready. You don't want to miss today, do you?" Alice.

He opened his eyes and took her in, watching as her beauty glimmered in the sunlight. The diamonds that appeared to be embedded in her skin offsetting her magnificently wild midnight hair that splayed around her head like a crown. She looked almost like a woodland fairy, with her doe shaped golden eyes. He was immediately drawn into her just like every time before this, the absolute joy pooling within her emotions driving his lips into a slight upward turn.

"No ma'am, of course not. Lead the way." She laughed at this, it sounded like a chorus of bells in the air. Echoing throughout the range as she took off running into the woods. Looking every bit like the sprite that she could be compared too as she bobbed and weaved in and out of the trees and underbrush with grace. Following her movements he could not help but smile as the scenery changed before his eyes, taking in the last vestiges of the sunlight before the cloud cover took back over its rightful place. The world around him was teeming with life and he could almost swear that his life was complete. If he were to die now, he would die a happy man.

With that last thought he closed off his deeper thoughts and began to enjoy the sensation of running. It was a speed he would have never known you could travel at during his human days and sometimes he was grateful for the life he had. Other times he wanted nothing more than to be human again.

Destiny enjoyed games of its own.


	2. Chapter One

He wanted to leave and head back to the safety of the Cullen household from the moment that they first arrived at the small high school. The ever changing and almost fluid emotions of the teenagers that he was now surrounded with attacked him from all sides. Tearing precious conscious thought away from controlling his baser urges and forcing him to use it to keep his gift under control.

With a deep breath he sent out a sense of calm towards those around him. Feeling his power as it spread through the air around him he relaxed his rigid posture from the backseat of Emmetts jeep. The turbulent and rowdy crowd now calmed down significantly from what they had been. He could tell from the look at was being sent his direction by Edward that he was fully aware of what had happened and immensely grateful. Perhaps hearing the thoughts of the aforementioned herds of students was almost worse in a way than feeling their emotions.

Alice giggled next to him, her giddiness was so strong that he could almost feel it. If he focused on her emotions enough he could almost ignore those coming from other sources. But nothing could completely block them from him. It was as unfortunate as it was a gift, as needed as it was useless.

The moment he stepped out of the car it was worse, like an invisible forcefield that had been surrounding him was ripped away. Alice was by his side in seconds, wrapping her small arm around his, sending him a reassuring look. He felt nothing but affection and confidence from her, and perhaps he should take note of that.

The amount of humans surrounding him was something he was unaccustomed too and not nearly close to comfortable with. He pulled the collar of the black sweater Alice had insisted he wear higher, ensuring that the scars on his neck were completely covered as the humans began to pass by. Not stopping but clearly gawking as they passed at the unfamiliar group of students in the parking lot.

He could hear their heartbeats, the blood rushing through their veins as they walked. Some slightly rushing as they ran to meet up with friends, others calmly making their way towards the buildings with a subdued air about them. It seemed to him that the modern day schooling environment was not a peaceful one and he had to wonder what Alice found so enjoyable about it. Surely teenagers were not so fascinating that just being around them could entertain you for days on end.

He heard a snort from behind him and saw Edward making his way around the front of his silver Volvo. The expression on his face and the subtle signs of amusement in his body language explained the sudden noise as a reaction to humor. And a slight nod in his direction showed that his thoughts had been the reason for it.

He was almost ready to bolt back to the vehicle when Alice began to walk forward, pulling him along with her. Steeling his nerves he began to take slow steps forward and nearly stopped breathing as they entered the main walkway towards the building.

People were staring, pointing. He could hear their whispers as they walked past. Rumors already beginning to float around the schoolyard at the presence of strangers. It was not a surprise to find out that they were the odd ones out, they usually were in this kind of town. Small and filled with people who had known each other for their entire lives it was a rare occurrence for someone knew to show up. Much less five people that they had never seen before.

It was this way at every other place that they had lived as well, spoken word making its way around the area. He heard Carlisle's name said several times amongst the sea of youthful onlookers. Curiosity was the main emotion of those around them, followed closely by suspicion. He could not fault them for these feelings, it was only natural to have some sort of trepidation towards those that are naturally your predators, even when you don't consciously realize it. Your instincts were harder to tune out than you would think.

It was near impossible for him to focus on his thoughts when around this many people. The constant and fluid stream of emotions as well as urge to attack took over most of the thought in the forefront of his mind. All of his concentration was going towards keeping himself in check and this fact was not lost upon his four companions.

Emmett was walking very closely behind him, not enough to cause suspicion or raise any questions, but just enough that he'd have a fighting chance of stopping him. He could not blame them for their caution. Despite having lived successfully around humans for almost seventy years now he could still very easily slip and attack, old habits died hard, especially when the burn in his throat was almost painful.

He was beginning to doubt Alice's assurance that he was ready for this the closer they got to the assembly hall. He was alright now, where the air dispelled a certain amount of the humans natural aroma before it could reach his senses. Though unsure and not completely willing to test how well he would respond to being trapped in a room with minimal air circulation with them.

Alice tugged on his arm softly, just enough pressure to get his attention. She was smiling at him, her lips parted slightly as she took in his face. She knew the pain he was in, no doubt, she had experienced it as well. Though perhaps not to the same extent. However she still understood and he appreciated the encouragement, even though he did not completely believe it himself.

She leaned up slightly and he bent down to her level, the height difference leaving several inches between them still. It would have been comical if the way she was gripping his arm could be seen as anything other than sisterly.

"You'll do fine Jazz. You've made up your mind not to hurt any of them. I would have seen something if it was going to go wrong." And this was true, but did little to relieve him of his nerves.

Alice's ability to see the future was both a blessing and a curse in his eyes and her own as well. Though it provided much needed insight at times there were things she wished she did not know that her foresight showed her. As she had very earnestly told him once, the future was meant to be undecided and a path taken on our own. We should not know too much about it or we might be tempted to change our path in life and use the knowledge that we have against others.

He knew it was an uphill battle for her to keep some things to herself, especially when it involved a member of the family. But she understood that some things needed to happen and that it was not her choice to change these things. Others deserved to make their own mistakes and face their own consequences, even when it broke her heart to watch it happen knowing she could have stopped it.

She gripped him tighter as they walked through the gray metal doors that lead to the assembly hall. Students and faculty were already seated on the bleachers and in the few chairs provided as they prepared for the principle to begin his school year introduction speech.

As the doors clanged shut behind them everything crashed into his senses at once. It was as close to sensory overload that he imagined a vampire could get. The smells made his nose strain and the sounds were assaulting his ears. He could hear every little thing that was happening in the room around him, from the soft humming of the older lady with gray hair that was seated on the right hand side of the platform to the repetitive clicking of a teenage boys pencil less than fifteen feet away.

But worse than this was the constant low thrum of heartbeats throughout the room. Some people were excited and nervous, causing a delicious flush to pull at their cheeks. Others seemed bored as they made idle conversation with people seated around them. He pulled his face tight and attempted to keep from grimacing as they made their way closer to the group of students.

He felt venom pool in his mouth as they sat down in seats on the front row. Alice directly to his right and Emmett to his left, he crossed his arms and made a great effort to focus on anything other than the sound of blood flowing through the veins of the pale skinned brunette girl sitting behind him.

With great control he tried to stop himself from licking his lips. Forcing himself to swallow the venom he closed his eyes and sat rigid, back straight against the plastic chair. He felt a tap on his shoulder and he leaned in Alice's direction yet again. Her tinkling laugh sounded in his ear softly, he focused on the sound of her voice.

"Jazz, nothings gonna happen. You won't hurt them." Her words were a source of comfort. But he could still not allow himself to let his guard down. The slightest lapse in control on his part could be the death of anyone in this room.

"Come on man, you gotta trust yourself more." Emmett slapped him on the shoulder hard enough to jerk him forward a few inches. With a grunt he acknowledged the words and action but still didn't trust himself to be vocal around so many people. It would be awhile before he was able to hold conversation and take his attention off the world around him with this many distractions.

The sound of a throat clearing brought his eyes to the front of the room. A middle aged and slightly grayed man was standing on the platform in front of the students, to his credit only looking slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of what he was about to do. He knew from experience that garnering the focus of wayward youth was a particularly tiresome task.

"Hello students of Forks high school. As you know, I am your principle. This group of people sitting to my right are your teachers and sports coaches. We wanted to let you know that we are looking forward to this next year of teaching and guiding you all towards your upmost potential..." The mans voice was bored, and judging from the inattentive emotions of those around him he was more than likely recusing the same speech he had used for years.

The speech continued on for several more minutes, covering many topics of discussion that he would have thought were common sense. But as Emmett was fond of saying, teenagers these days did not have much of that. He guessed that modern convenience had softened people over time and caused a lack for serious work on the part of many adolescents. And it wasn't like having this many congregate in one place could be done without some sort of incident, from his meager memories he could recall that he had been known to kick up a ruckus occasionally when his friends were involved.

The world was truly different these days, and he had gotten to watch it change. Not that he had paid particular attention in the years leading up to his meeting with Alice. Even since then, though, the way that people lived had changed drastically from what it was. Social standards were an ever present detail, but what they entailed was ever changing. Those he had paid attention too, because it was needed to know what to act like when hunting your prey in a certain environment.

Those were times past, a different person as he looked back on them. He almost couldn't reconcile the monster in those memories with the person that he saw in the mirror these days. He had changed, become more civil in his mannerisms and actions, adopted a lifestyle that allowed him to live with only the guilt of the past. Some things never wanted to leave your mind though.

The end of the speech caught his attention as they dismissed the students, who promptly began to file out of the building and towards their first classes. Collective groups of groans caught his attention as he heard the first students out the door begin to mumble complaints about the rain that had started to fall in the last few minutes.

This was not uncommon weather for Forks, as he had been informed by Carlisle before they moved here. The small town received rain almost year round, and when it wasn't rain it was a thick cloud cover. Perfect weather for those who can't roam in the sunlight he thought wryly.

Standing up he once again had his arm taken by Alice as she started toward the door. She pulled him along and he allowed her too, wondering how she had wormed her way so deep into his heart despite his initial resistance towards the friendship she wanted to establish between now. And now, well now he simply could not imagine his life without her light to drag him out of the past.

The short young woman who was pulling him swiftly down a pathway while weaving between the students knew him better than anyone else ever had. Just like she knew that he did not trust himself around this many people and as such she was guiding him, pulling him along towards their end destination.

He was not certain which classes he was in, but he knew that Esme had spoken to the school and made it so that he and Alice shared all their classes together. It was not like he was particularly anxious to get a high school education, he had already read most of the material and more than likely had been alive for many of the events in their history books. One would be surprised how much you can learn about the world when you have an almost unlimited amount of time and the drive to learn.

Alice stopped in front of building number four, he stepped in front of her and opened the door. A group of young school girls were following shortly behind and he maintained his grip on the handle to keep it open for them. They looked surprised and happy as they walked through, blushing and nearly whispering a thank you in his direction without actually meeting his eyes. Understanding their emotions went a long way in this and as he let the door slip closed he sent a nod in their direction, enjoying the happy chatter elicited by their reaction.

Positive emotions had always been his favorite reactions to get from people in the recent years, one could say he almost got a high when someone was elated enough. Perhaps that was why he felt less despondent than he had anticipated during the last hour.

Though he strained to close off his mind as they entered the small classroom. The space between people and the amount of clear air was noticeably less than in the assembly hall. It caused their smells to be much more potent and their heartbeats to echo in his ears. Grinding his teeth together he sat down in the chair closest to the wall, putting as much space between himself and the nearest human as possible.

He held his breath, calming himself down from the impending loss of control he could feel building. The burning in the back of his throat was growing steadily stronger, but it wasn't near unmanageable yet. Though it did cause discomfort, and he found himself doing something he had never seen another vampire do, fidgeting.

Desperate to keep his mind busy he was alternating between listening to the introduction to their English course and systematically doing a motion with some part of his body. When he started with the finger tapping he noted a slight chuckle from next to him and looked over out of the corner of his eyes to see Alice looking at him in amusement.

It was odd to have the burning in his throat and to be unable to satisfy it. Every instinct that he had was telling him to jump over the table and sink his teeth into the neck of the girl sitting in the row in front of them. Denying himself had never been something he'd forced himself to do when in the presence of the very thing he was accustomed to avoiding. His thoughts were getting steadily closer to the edge.

That girl really did have a wonderful smell. Her lightly tanned skin spoke of some possible native american or foreign bloodline. She smelled like a rustic mix of honey and pine needles, heavenly and sweet and delicious. He forced another mouthful of venom down his throat as he pondered over how it would feel to just have a few drops of her blood cascade down his throat.

Alice would not be able to stop him, he knew this, as he licked his lips when the girl flipped her hair over her shoulder. The black locks fell back over the firm skin on the back of her neck, but he could hear her pulse now. He could almost feel what it would be like to have her heart steadily pumping the blood through her body and towards the open wound as he sucked her dry. It would be glorious, to be able to just have his mouth on her neck. The temptation was growing by the second.

A hand clasped his shoulder and pulled him back firmly against the chair seat. That was when he realized that he had subconsciously moved forward to get a better vantage point of his pray. A wave of shame hit him as he came back to himself, now fully aware of how far his mind had been traveling down the wrong path.

If he could cry, he probably would. The pity emanating from Alice was almost palpable. She tried to understand why he had such a hard time, but she really could not. Having not tasted human blood before she could not fully comprehend how hard it was to stay away from it. He felt similar to the drug addicts that he used to feed off of, desperately craving something and unable to have it as he forced himself to attempt to be sober.

The hand was left on his shoulder, grounding him, and he decided to focus on the teachers voice for the rest of the class. It was the same rules for writing English and the basics that he had known for almost his entire life, but it was something to draw him away from other trains of thought. He had decided long ago that he wanted to commit himself to this lifestyle, and he was not going to relapse now.

Lunch was not a more pleasant experience than the assembly hall had been. As a matter of fact, he noted that it was quite possibly worse. Without the teachers present the students were free to talk and yell and worry themselves about anything that they so felt the need as loud as they wanted too. He was able to hear every word of every conversation and wished desperately that ear plugs would work on him.

The others were making quiet conversation amongst themselves, avoiding the obvious elephant that was present in the room. They made light commentary on the behavior of the people around them and skipped back and forth from topic to topic. Edward answering unspoken questions and Alice announcing things before people even knew what they were going to ask in the first place. It was a homey feeling of companionship that he was not used to having anywhere except for the Cullen household.

Emmett was being particularly loud today, boisterous as per his usual behavior, talking vibrantly about listening to the newest music that was supposed to be coming out soon. Or other menial topics that allowed him to focus on the cadence of his voice. It was not long before he felt the anxious emotions of someone as they approached the table that they were sitting at.

Still uncertain he refrained from looking over his shoulder at the approaching person. The sound of their heartbeat growing closer, feet tapping against the tile floor in a pattern. The steps were soft, but not entirely confident. Whomever this was was unsure of themselves and the group of people that they were approaching. He was almost tempted to smile at the nervousness, it was an emotion humans often had when around him and his adoptive siblings.

"Excuse me?" Her voice was polite. The reactions of everyone at the table differed from one another.

Alice smiled and placed locked her arms around his, supplying him with a sense of security that he never failed to feel around her. Emmett was replying in his usual loud tone, friendly but not entirely welcoming, at least not to those who didn't know him. Edward and Rosalie stared, both looking at the girl as if they wanted her to merely disappear back to where she came from.

The temptation to snort in amusement was strong as he felt what little confidence the girl had drain away. It was disheartening as he heard her begin to stutter and shake slightly, the fear she was letting out almost made him want to snap at his siblings. It was a strange mix of emotions that had him jumping from one high to another, slightly annoying but nothing to be worried about at this point in time. He would just have to work on blocking out other peoples emotions better.

An obvious growl came from across the table, too low for the girl to hear but loud enough for the vampires in the room to notice. He lifted his eyes from the location they had been staring at and moved his gaze to Rosalie. She was outright glaring at the teenager that was still awkwardly making conversation with Emmett. The emotions she was letting out would have given him a headache if they could. Her possessiveness and annoyance was only growing the longer that the girl, Jessica he noted was her name, stood at the edge of their table.

Alice was still gripping his arm, and he steadfastly held his gaze on the table. Still unwilling to interact beyond the necessary. The amount of blood in his near vicinity was making it hard enough as it was. The brief reprieve he got whenever someone opened the door and let in a burst of fresh air was short lived.

Lost in his own thoughts he contemplated how long it had been since he was able to be around a human without draining them dry. The urge to attack and feed had been cultivated in the early years of his life as a vampire, he had been encouraged to become feral and take his victims of choice whenever he wanted. Living without guilt or remorse for the lives that he was taking at this point.

His thoughts traveled back to a time when things were much simpler, but also so much harder to withstand. He knew he had reached a point where he honestly deserved to be punished with death. But he had never been able to receive this form of punishment, so he always put himself in the line of fire as his feelings began to get the better of him. His pain and shame had eaten away at him slowly until he had been nothing left but a shell of his former self.

For ninety years he had lived like that, savage and deplorable all because he had forgotten what it meant to be human. He could almost taste the blood of the humans he had killed in those years still on his lips. The burning in the back of his throat intensified as he kept walking back down memory lane, wanting nothing more than to focus on the sins of the past.

Trapped within his own memories he failed to notice when Jessica left the table. Eyes closed now he felt as shame took over as the primary emotion in his system. Amplified by the feelings of the now retreating girl he felt someone shake his shoulder. Placing his head in his hands he bent over the table, ignoring the words of the people around him in favor of his own warring emotions. Spiraling downward farther and farther away from the present he gripped his hair as his breathing became ragged.

Placing his forehead on the table he hardly noticed the difference between the temperature of it and his forehead. Struggling to maintain some amount of coherency he failed to be aware of the actions of the students around him. The around of the bell ringing didn't register and when the people started rushing by on their way to the next class he forced himself to stop breathing completely. Trying to keep his head clear from the bloodlust that was growing ever stronger in the back of his mind and slowly starting to push rational thought aside.

He needed to get out of here, and quickly, he was not going to last much longer at this rate. He refuses to have an innocent person die because he wanted to test his limits. If anyone would understand this it was Alice and he knew without a doubt that he needed to go home.

"Jasper, can you respond to me?" Rosalie, her voice broke through the fog. But he did not have the control needed to do anything more than raise his left hand in acknowledgment.

"Emmett and I are going to stay here with you while Alice gets you excused for the rest of the day." He understood this, wanted to yell in frustration at his own weakness. But his jaw was clenched shut against the words and the venom pooling faster and faster. Choking on his own fear for the life of someone else he hoped desperately that Alice would get back soon. He needed her anchoring hold on him to keep him from losing the meager amount of control he was somehow maintaining.

It felt like hours before Alice got back, gripping his shoulder tightly yet again. He was beginning to wonder if this was going to become a pattern with her. Eyes closed he focused completely on the feeling of her guiding him silently towards the far entrance of the cafeteria, away from the majority of students.

The ride back to the Cullen house was awkward and filled with a stiff silence. He was turned looking out the passenger side window of Edward's Volvo, and steadfastly maintained his tense posture. Alice was more relaxed, but seemed to be catering to his slightly childish mood by not saying anything.

Even though he knew he was acting far more juvenile about this than he should, he could not stop the shame that was rushing through his system. He wanted nothing more than to disappear and hide away, they had all thought he'd had a handle on it this time. But yet, he had to go and prove them wrong by losing control that much in the middle of lunch.

All the girl had done was stand four feet away from him and talk, but with the sensory overload it had been too much. For whatever reason he could not shake this, he felt almost like an addict depriving themselves of their next fix. It hurt like hell to hold himself still and not jump someone in that food court.

"The official cover story is that you had a panic attack from the noise." He was grateful for the excuse, but wished deep down that it was an unnecessary precaution. Though he doubted that Carlisle would stop him from going back to the high school the next day, he knew that the panic attack was the perfect cover if he needed to take a few days away.

As they turned onto the loose gravel drive that lead to the house he relaxed slightly. The familiar encasement of tree coverage and thick foliage relaxing him near instantly. He could feel it as the steel wired muscles beneath his skin loosened from their tensed state, no longer holding him rigid in the seat of the car.

Alice noticed this, smiling slightly to herself, despite the situation at hand. She knew that Jasper felt much more at home in the forest than he did out in the open, it was another thing distilled in him from his self imposed years of solitude. It always eased her consciousnesses to see him relax and no longer hold himself as though he was waiting for something to go wrong. It pained her to see the ever present readiness that he always had around him.

She knew that he had sensed her abrupt change in emotions when a feeling of calm and serenity washed over the car. It was similar to the feeling of complete peace she got whenever she was trapped in a particularly good vision and that was as close to dreams as she got. But it was also different in a very vital and heart breaking way that almost made her want to cry, despite the fact that she could not exactly feel the tears pricking at the edges of her eyes.

He was something unusual, that was the common consensus amongst those who met him anyway, from what he could clearly gather in emotional form. Not many people were willing to breach the eery wall of calm and stoicism that he constantly surrounded himself with. It calmed his ever over zealous nerves to think that they were too timid to approach him, though he supposed that his reputation stood for itself and his attitude did not exactly do much to dissuade that belief.

He shamefully admitted to feeling an almost gleeful pinprick whenever someone allowed their obvious trepidation and timidness at his behavior show through. It gave him that age old instilled urge to flash a feral smile in their direction and bring them crashing down into reality with the lust for battle in his eyes that he could never quite seem to escape.

Esme had once, when it was only them in the house and waiting for the others to return home, told him that his eyes looked a certain kind of haunted. He knew that dangerous was a word that many other people would have used, lethal another and predator the most dominant descriptor of them all. He had not anticipated such a random statement that strayed far from the companionable silence they usually found between them.

The car was rolling to a halting stop and he opened the door and exited the vehicle before it even came to a complete cease in forward motion. Nonplussed by the force with which his boot clad feet had hit the ground he took off running in the opposite direction of the very thing that he craved more than anything else in the world at the moment. Running as fast and as far as he could from the looming temptation that threatened to cloud his already fragile judgement.

The world around him should have been a blur with how fast he was running. Though he could see every detail as clearly as if he was looking at it through close eyes under a microscope. Every small detail was enhanced and the colors flew by in rapid succession as he took in the world around him. Reaching out with his senses for the prey that the natural predator living inside of his mind wanted so badly.

As he reached out with his hearing and smell he could almost swear that he was something different now. It was a feeling that he had never been quite able to put into words, something primal that he often felt the need to release whenever he usually stoic temper got the better of him. It was like he was watching himself through his own eyes as he let whatever entity that the vampire venom and years of conditioning had placed under his skin have control.

He knew that they never quite understood, the others. Because they had all had lives so vastly different from his after they were turned by Carlisle. They had all had something to cling too, a string of humanity to hold together the pieces and fragmented memories of their past selves and reconcile them with the new life they were expected too lead.

That was something he had never had the opportunity to do for himself, nobody had cared enough and he never knew that you could not be a monster. As such he had embraced himself and sought to push the man, Jasper Whitlock, as far back into his mind as possible. Allowing him to become something different, harder and much more dangerous.

Alice had changed all that he was willing to admit, that day in the diner. She had attacked every little barrier that he used to keep himself locked away and the beast in full control. It had been a long time coming, he guessed, that she would start to pull the sides of him back together from where he was coming apart at the seams. He could not quite make himself let go of these urges though and completely merge the two back together again, he doubted he could reconcile the southern gentleman with the blood thirsty monster.

Taking the back seat he allowed instincts to lead the way as he took off in the direction of a delicious smell. There was something about the lure of a mountain lion that brought him in. It was almost like human, just slightly more tangy he would describe it. And without that sweet aftertaste that he had learned to enjoy greatly in his time with Maria.

Stalking behind the animal silently he bared his teeth, venom dripping from where it had coated the inside of his mouth, and growled at the animal. It turned and looked at him in alarm before releasing a guttural cry of its own, anger and challenge evident in its eyes as it sized him up.

He smiled, feral and dangerous, waiting for the lion to make its move to attack. Giving into instincts when it lurched forward towards him in a leap, he allowed it to bring him down and press him to the ground, where the landed in the dirt with a loud thump. Claws dug into his shirt and tore holes down it as the animal brutally attacked his shoulders. Fabric gave way, but the lion gave another angered sound as its claws scraped against skin as hard as iron that didn't move.

The laughter that boomed in the air obviously startled the creature as it reared backwards with a low sound of warning. He craved to dominate the lion that was stalking its way around him now, observing its fellow predator and becoming accustomed to Jaspers scent.

All too quickly it charged him again, bringing their game of cat and mouse into ita final stages. Reaching his arms out he clasped the shoulders of the animal as it wrapped its jaw around his neck in a feeble attempt to gain the advantage. It was completely unaware of the danger that it was now placing itself in.

With great pleasure he used his strength to roll them over, tossing the lion onto the ground. Dirt and foliage went flying as they wrestled, Jasper enjoying the look of fear in the animals eyes as it realized that it was not going to win this fight. Holding it down with his arms he pressed it into the ground with all his strength, reveling in the feeling of bones and ligaments snapping beneath his hands. The sound echoed through the forest as the lion released a whimper noise.

His mind cut out as he growled and locked his mouth on to the neck of the great animal beneath him. The smooth feeling of warm blood flowing down his throat as the lions heart struggled to continue to push it through its veins. The feeling of intense thirst lessoned as he drained the animal, the blood tasted almost salty. It was tangy and bitter and just this side of delicious, but it did wonders to ease the burning feeling in the back of his throat.

Not conscious of what he was doing, he gripped the lion tighter as he messily drained the blood from its body. Splatters of red escaped in small droplets that found their way onto his torn shirt and ripped up jeans. After having drained the animal dry he disposed of the carcass and began walking at a human pace through the forest, still not completely in control of himself.

The sun was beginning to set before he bothered to begin to make his way back towards their residence. He had been wandering aimlessly in the throes of the woodland area for what he could imagine was hours, though it seemed like mere minutes. He had been entranced by the dead silence that took over the area as he passed through, the living beings ceasing to make any noise as he walked, sensing danger was near. But they could not hide the rampant beating of their hearts in fear and he almost couldn't fight his own urge to kill.

He had given in several more times before he had come across the small clearing that was, he knew, about three miles away from the house. The trees parted and he was left in the middle of a meadow, about forty feet in diameter, with a small pond nestled in the middle beneath the giant branches of an oak tree that hung down to shade the area around it.

Walking up to the pond he noted how the tadpoles and small animals that inhabited it got as far away from him as the small area would allow. Chuckling lightly to himself in a bitter way he looked at his own reflection in the water, only slightly disturbed by the wind that was blowing across the field.

He truly was something to behold at the moment, every bit as monstrous on the inside as he was on the outside at the moment. It brought a self conscious emotion too his chest as he took in the thing before him, not recognizing himself. Blood was dried around the edges of his mouth and lines had dripped down his neck. Where his shirt was shredded and stained red, his jeans were smudged with blood and dirt from the scuffle in the woods. His hair matted, having been whipped by the wind and messed up in the various hunts he'd partaken in.

Perhaps the worst was his eyes, they looked absolutely deadly in the evening light. Staring back at him with golden iris's and edges that were tinged black with the remnants of his hunger. They almost glowed the orange lighting of dusk as the darkness grew closer. With an unnecessary sigh he headed back towards the house after shaking his head with disgust, he'd lost control of himself again.

The days continued on much like the first at Forks high school, though thankfully he never had to make a grand escape again. But the others still watched him very closely, keeping their ever diligent eyes on his actions no matter what he was doing. The world kept spinning and he just went with the motions as they presented themselves to him.

Days blurred together as they continued on in the same tedious manner. Fall soon turned into early winter as the leaves were almost completely gone from the trees and the evergreens stood tall and proud amongst their bare companions. The sun remained steadfastly hidden by the ever present looming cloud cover and nothing of consequence happened in anyones life.

Forks was, for all intents and purposes, living in the lull of the real world. Very little managed to make its way back to the rather sheltered community and cause an issue. That being said it did not exactly take much to cause the usually bored rumor mill to begin churning out some new outrageous story about one inhabitant of the community or another. Jasper had recently found himself the center of these sets of rumors after he had helped a young female classmate of his with the project that their history teacher assigned them.

So when word got around that someone new was coming too town, well that spread around like a wildfire. With the holidays approaching rapidly it was rather unusual for someone to be planning to enter a new school just two weeks before Christmas break would begin. But nothing about Bella Swan seemed to be usual from what he could gather.

Still life remained unaltered for the most part, the Cullens remained separate from from general population of the school people and in their own little world. Everything continued on in the mind numbing but slightly soothing pattern that he had become accustomed too over the last several months. That is, until the first day back from Thanksgiving break, when everything changed.

It wasn't as though it was a particularly noticeable day, the air was cold and frost was covering everything from where the rain had fallen earlier in the day. The sun was just barely peaking above the horizon from behind the clouds that were looking dark and slightly ominous as to what the weather might hold for the rest of the day.

They had just gotten out of the car when he didn't smell her, so much as he sensed that she was there. A sudden pull came over his chest in a way that he had never experienced before and it was almost like his vision had tunneled against the usually crowed parking lot and focused solely on her. Unable to look away or think coherently as he took in everything that was her.

A dark brown rain jacket was held tight against her body by shaking hands, clasping it even tighter as a shield to protect her from the biting wind. Near ink black hair was billowing in the wind, covering up parts of her face against pale skin that was almost white. She looked like something akin to an angel as she threw the heavy looking navy blue backpack over her shoulder and slammed shut the door to the old truck that she was driving.

In that one moment he knew everything would change.


	3. Chapter Two

The first thing Bella observed about the dreary November morning in Forks was that it was cold. Not the slight breeze on a rainy morning cold that they had had back in Phoenix, but the bone chilling, body shivering freezing cold that seemed to seep into your skin. It caused her no comfort as she bemoaned having to reach out from beneath the mountain of blankets she had piled herself under to stop her alarm clock.

Today was going to be her first day at Forks high school, a small town school with small town teenagers who had grown up with each other. She had hoped that she would be able to stay in the background and remain mostly unnoticed until her graduation in two years. But if her first day at the school went anything like her first day in town had it was not likely.

Fighting the urge to curl up in a ball under the covers she forced herself to push them down off her shoulders and onto her waste. Shivering in the cold air she wrapped her arms around herself and felt her teeth clacking against each other as she was wracked with gust after gust of cold air.

No longer protected by the blankets she made quick work of shutting off her alarm clock and getting out of bed. The sooner she gathered her things the sooner she would be able to get warm. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt from the suitcase she had yet to unpack she resolved that her shower could wait for that evening, she was not eager to freeze herself with cold hair.

She dressed rapidly and made her way downstairs, bundled tightly in her blue sweater and dark brown jacket. She tugged a worn looking brush through her black locks as she rummaged through the cabinets for something edible. Charlie had obviously not thought about food to eat from home much judging from the lack of substantial edibles within the house.

Finally deciding that toast would have to do until she made her way to the store to get something decent later that afternoon she stuck two pieces in the worn down toaster. Pulling the only slightly suspicious looking grape jelly from the shelf in the fridge she hoped to herself that it was not as old as it might have been. But the fact that it was still of a jello like consistency and not hardened gave her some amount of hope that it would at least serve her for long enough to have some flavor with the bread that was currently getting crisp.

Forks was boring, this was something she had decided on her first day in the town. Everything was mediocre and nothing was out of the ordinary anywhere. There was no unique people walking the streets, no strangers to meet in untimely situations, no angry shouting in the wake of another persons perceived mistake. It was rather disheartening to note the differences between here and the place where she grew up, but it was something she had decided she would need to accept to have some semblance of an actual life here.

The toaster dinged, two crisp and lightly browned browned pieces of bread popped up into the morning air. Her eyes singled out the bread, and she set out to attack it with with the spoon that was covered in jelly. A small smile covered her face at the familiarity of the motion, she'd made toast with breakfast almost every single day back in Phoenix.

It took a few minutes for everything to hit her, but once it did pulling on her newly acquired brown wool lined jacket seemed like a chore. It was something that she wished could drag on forever, but at the same time get finished with as soon as possible. The foreboding feeling that had been building in her chest since she first boarded the plane to Seattle was coming back with a rather intense vengeance. It left her unsettled and tired and wishing that she could do nothing more than crawl back into her bed and avoid what was now her life.

The world enclosed around her as she grabbed her backpack off the floor in the hall by the front door. She slammed the front door behind her, locking it with a furious jerking motion that was meant to hide the shaking in her hands. It was a menial task, opening the door to the giant lumbering red truck, but tossing the bag as far as she could inside of it soothed her growing emotions somewhat. It was not until she was inside of the truck with the door closed securely beside her that she had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed at her attitude in the last few minutes. Grateful that no one had been around to see the uncharacteristic display of emotions.

Hurriedly she shoved the set of keys into the ignition, flinching unabashedly at the loud sputtering noises the engine made as it started up. It broke the peacefulness of the general area as it revved itself up and began to thrum at a volume just loud enough to be uncomfortable. If she hadn't been assured by Charlie that the ancient vehicle drove properly she would have undoubtedly been too fearful to drive it. No matter how unappealing the thought of getting dropped off at school in a police cruiser every morning is.

Taking a deep breath she gripped the wheel tightly and attempted to shove down her nervousness. The last thing she needed was to have a panic attack while driving this thing. She'd probably injure some innocent animal, traumatize a bystander and kill herself all at the same time.

The engine once again rumbled as she shifted the truck into reverse and gave it enough gas that it would start backing up. Pulling into the road was not difficult once she had managed to turn the giant truck successfully around Charlie's mailbox.

Her mental mantra continued on the way to the school building. Well, what she had thought was the school building anyway. Her drive had done very little in terms of calming her down, but she had, somehow, managed to keep herself from getting anymore worked up. But her already disappointing day took a nosedive when she took in the area in front of her as she turned in the driveway just past the sign that read Forks High.

It was not a singular school building like those she was used to in Phoenix, there was not three stories with adjacent halls that connected it to a large sports section. The classes were separated out into different buildings, labeled offices, and buildings one through nine. The students walked towards their first period through the rain and slight slush that was present on the ground, heedless of the little droplets that were landing on their heads and hoods. Then again, unlike her, they were used to this kind of weather.

She could already tell what kind of school this was going to be as she pulled into her chosen parking space. People were standing around in groups, at least the ones who weren't already making their way inside one building or another. It was not hard to tell from the pointed fingers and long glances that the new girl was the conversation topic of choice for many today.

Grabbing her backpack she pulled it onto her lap, hoping that her old schoolbooks from Phoenix would suffice until she could the ones recommended by her teachers. She pulled the key out of the ignition and the truck died with a final roar, before blissfully going silent.

Throwing open the door she climbed out of the truck, slamming the door behind her. It was an odd feeling that she had, almost a tingle that passed through her body. Before settling in the center of her chest in the form of a tug that was somewhat new but also felt like she had been missing it her entire life.

She turned around with her bag hauled over her shoulder, the concrete beneath her feet at the moment her sole point of focus. The urge to look up had see what was causing the pull in her chest was strong, the want to stay invisible until she could graduate was almost stronger. But against her better judgement she looked up and standing at the back end of a sleek silver car was the owner of the most gorgeous golden eyes she had ever seen.

He was tall, that much she did not have to be close to notice. Her eyes struggled to take in everything about him. Honey blond hair was slightly shaggy and just barely wavy, hanging partially in front of his but not shielding him. His skin was pale in pallor but seemed to have a natural tan to it, his face was all sharp angles with soft edges. The rugged kind of cowboy handsome type that she could see having been raised in fields under the stars.

The best part, he was looking right at her with the same intensity that she had felt with her back turned.

He knew that his staring was making her uncomfortable, he could feel it as her emotions washed over him. Though he could not find it in himself to give a damn at the moment because she had taken over everything in his mind. His entire existence was focused in this singular moment and he felt like his entire world had been tilted on its axis but somehow also made sense in a way that it never had before.

It took a moment for her scent to wash over him again, blown in the direction of the group of people standing by the car. He didn't close his eyes but he also took a deep breath through his nose, letting the essence of her wash over him. It left him feeling stronger hold over his bloodlust than he ever had before, but also a weakness that manifested in the form of a tug in the middle of his chest, urging him in her direction.

One would have thought that this would send him running for the hills. All the hard work he had put into being able to be around humans threatening to head down the gutter with the presence of one single human girl. One human girl that seemed to not fully realize the effect she was having on him as she took in his appearance with a thoughtful face. Her eyes shown with an analytical ability that he had seen before a great many times looking in the mirror.

He was aware of the chocked snort behind him that was barely contained. A hard thump sounded and he knew that Rosalie had just elbowed Emmett in the side, after all she knew. Not so long ago it had been her that felt the pull of a singer when she had found Emmett in the woods after the bear attack.

He managed to pull his eyes away from the pale beauty in front of him long enough to look back at his family. They were all staring at him with varying degrees of interest and different emotions flitted through the group. Emmett was amused and happy, Rosalie torn between being happy for him and mourning for the humanity of the girl he had just been looking at Alice. Alice was the same as Emmett, with a knowing look and a small smile on her face that told him she had seen this coming.

Edward was the only one that could pose a problem then, he decided upon taking in the emotions his pseudo brother was projecting. Frustration and curiosity were the most prominent, anger buried just slightly beneath the surface as he took in the thoughts of those around him. He knew that undoubtedly Edward would attempt to talk him out of getting close to her.

"You knew." He didn't need to say anything more as he went back to watching the girls now retreating back. There was nothing else that needed to be said after all; they all knew who he was talking too.

"Yes." Alice answered with confidence and happiness. She gave him a look that screamed that she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

"Since when?" On the outside it would seem as though he was being short with her. But it did not take long for the vampires surrounding him to realize he was simply processing the data as fast as possible, one thing that was left from his days in both the Confederate army and with Maria.

"Since that diner in 1963." That was all needed to know why she had pushed so hard for him to be here. Why she had wanted so badly for him to settle in and take to the Cullen family as much as she had. It was her way of making sure that he ended up with the happily ever after that not many of their kind got.

"Okay." He would accept her answer for the current moment. He would request elaboration later in the day when everything had calmed down a little bit. It was a surreal experience but he made sure to send calm in Alice's direction to ensure her that he was not angered by her discretion on the subject. Something he had learned in the years he had known her was that sometimes it was best if a person did not know certain aspects of their own future.

With that he started towards the school building and they all followed his directive as though it was a silent announcement. They spilt directions as they walked towards their respective classrooms. The students parted ways for them as if they were making room for the Israelites to cross the red sea and it morbidly reminded him of the reaction that the newborns always had whenever he entered the area that they were designated to stay in.

He pulled open the door to the classroom, early American History, and walked down the side of the aisle to his seat in the very back. Few students were in the room and he doubted that they were going to bother him. Instincts told them to say stay away and admire from afar even though they did not quite know why. That was one reason why he enjoyed people watching as much as he did. They were rather intriguing creatures and observing their behavior allowed him to see them as more than a warm meal.

Snorting in amusement he idly wondered how the people in the room would feel if they knew the way he looked at them. Or if they knew just how good the aroma they let out into the air was. He imagined that if he didn't have the discipline he did it would be much harder for him to not look st them how he imagined they looked at cooked turkeys on Thanksgiving day.

Hearing his snort they looked back in curiosity as to what he was finding so amusing. Though he knew they would not find it as entertaining a thought as he did. But his self control sadly did not extend much beyond his physical body and as such thoughts still strayed into his head. Not that he intended of never thinking them again but he had resolved long ago at the pleading from Alice to at least try this vegetarian lifestyle that the Cullen family had adopted. Try he would until the moment came that he needed the boost provided by human blood to protect her, at that point all bets would be off and he would have the crimson eyes that they all seemed to loathe. Until that time came though he would follow the example that Carlisle Cullen set even though he knew that the man knew that he did not intend to stay that way from the start.

Shaking himself out of his internal musings he noted that his classmates were filing into the room now. The final bell had tolled before the tardy bell and he had cataloged it as it happened. Their smells all hit him at once and he stopped breathing, a practice he regularly partook in but still moved his shoulders slightly in such a way it did not look like he was sitting perfectly still.

The class itself was not that bad despite the quite ridiculous amount of factual information that they had gotten wrong. Though information being passed down for generations like that was bound to get a little bit mixed up. The teacher was engaging enough and somehow managed to drag him back to his own days in the Texas Calvary whenever she spoke of that particular part of American history. He could feel her genuine enjoyment of the subject she taught and that made the class tolerable.

By the time that it was over he was almost able to forget about the girl from this morning. But the moment he stepped back into the open air and was no longer distracted by the ramblings of his teacher his thoughts began to wonder again. Curiosity about a human was not something he was accustomed too beyond wondering what a particularly good smelling persons blood tasted like. Those kinds of curiosity usually resulted in Edward getting and attitude at him though.

He was halfway to his next class when he noticed her as she stood hopelessly in the middle of the courtyard. She was looking down at the piece of paper in her hands that he could only assume was her schedule and glancing up periodically to search the area around her. It was rather obvious that she was lost and no one was attempting to help her find the proper building that held her class in it.

Smirking slightly he wondered what the harm would be in showing her where a class was. Surely he was allowed to play good samaritan to the helpless teenage girl that just so happened to catch his attention today. Not as though he was planning on taking her out back and pouncing on her like he was some ravenous animal.

He switched his course and walked off of the sidewalk towards the girl. Waiting for her to notice he was approaching was a bit of a task as she seemed to be almost completely unaware outside of what she was doing. Her focus broke, however, when he purposefully stepped on a hardened area of ice on the short clipped grass and it cracked beneath his feet. Stopping short of her, about five feet away, he noted that her face was a light shade of pink at the cold weather.

"Hello." Her eyes kept blinking at him which he found distinctly amusing.

"Umm... hi." It was almost like she did not know exactly what to say to him. Was she that unaccustomed to people stopping to aid her? Or maybe it was just because he had stared at her this morning and then had let her walk away without a proper explanation. There were a lot of things that humans found offensive that he did not get the reasoning behind.

He did remember Alice chastising him about how staring was rude a couple of years back at their last school. The message she was attempting to get across had never felt needed until this current moment. As such he made great effort to blink more and keep his intensity down when he looked at her. Alice had also told him that some people found that that intensity, had them nervous and self-conscious for some reason.

"May I assist you in findin' your next class, ma'am?" The Southern drawl that was always prominent in his voice came out even more as he spoke to her. It was more than likely the Southern gentleman that his mother raised coming back out to play after having been pushed to the background for so long.

"Please, if you don't mind." He truly did not.

When she reached out with her hand to give him the paper with her schedule on it he bypassed it and grabbed her hand. Pulling it up to his mouth he placed a chaste kiss on the skin of her knuckles, smiling slightly when he heard her pulse spike at his motion.

"It would be my pleasure ma'am." He internally jested himself about overdoing it with the old fashioned Southern manners. People did not go around kissing women's knuckles as they did when he was a youthful bachelor. What had been customary back then when meeting a young woman was drastically different from now but his mother would roll over in her grave if she even thought he was treating a lady with anything other than the upmost respect. Even if his interest was purely based on curiosity at this point.

Pulling the paper gently from her grasp he looked down and memorized everything it said in seconds. Her next class was in building number five, room 504. Not that she would have known how to get there as the people who built this campus did not seem to keen on providing the student body with any directional signs. Nor had hey established a tour guide or liaison for new students to show her around the school on her first day there. The amount of disregard they put into her arrival would have been concerning if it was not making it painfully obvious that they hardly ever had new students.

With a smile her gestured in the direction that they needed to go. "Shall we?" A small nod was all he got in response as he began walking to building five with her by his side.

Too soon they were stopping in front of the door and he would have to rush to ensure he was not late to his own class. She had thanked him quickly before stepping inside as fast as possible and walking down the tiled hall looking for the correct door. He discreetly watched until he was certain that she had found the room she was looking for before he turned away and began his trek back to building three. Being late was not typical of the children of the Cullen household, so he was certain that his teacher would not report it especially once she learned that Jasper had been helping the newest person on campus with directions.

Knowing this he smiled to himself, his self control was much better and he had taken the first step. Something that his 'family' would have balked at had they seen it. It was a miracle in and of itself that Alice hadn't seen the moment and taken steps to avoid it.

Though it was much easier than it had been before lunch was still a test of his willpower. His bloodlust was easily ignored now that he had gotten used to constant presence of people. It was more the cocktail of emotions that always filled the room to the brim. Teenagers had such violent emotions that the constant changes and sudden increase of emotions left him feeling world weary more often than not.

It was not an uncommon occurrence for him to be forced to leave the cafeteria when a group of people had a particularly strong reaction to something that happened. But today looked as though it was going to be calmer than the usual atmosphere as everyone was just getting back from Thanksgiving. The emotions in the air were honestly kind of muted due to the increased ire about being back after a break.

He found that he could not blame them though, his own emotions had once been this horrendous to be around he imagined. Not much of his human life remained in his memories but that which did told him he had been a particularly headstrong and emotionally vivid child. He could only presume that that trait of his continued on into the teenage years he hardly remembered as it stuck with him through the transformation and expanded itself into his gift of empathy.

Blowing out an unnecessary breath he nearly flinched when he felt a strong wave of emotion hit him. The owner of it was not a stranger emotionally and he often toyed with the thought of becoming a confidant for this person. Mike Newton was sitting across the room at a table full of people who did not recognize his depression for what it was. The feelings that came towards Jasper from behind the false smile only served to multiply his own and bring them back towards the surface.

Managing to shake himself out of his momentary stupor he noted that most had not realized he had become lost in thought. Rose however was throwing him glances in between the throes of conversation that told him she was not so easily fooled by his walls. Her expression promised a hunting trip soon on which she would attempt to pry at whatever caused him to react so badly.

He lifted the corner of his mouth half heartedly towards her. It was not the most reassuring thing as it was almost entirely fake. But judging from the subtle way that her muscles uncoiled beneath her ivory skin it had gotten the point across. That for now he was alright and that he would not succumb to his memories at the moment. If anyone would understand it was Rose, she had her own demons to fight after all and she knew what it was like to hide the darkest parts of your past and your deepest secrets. Knew the emotions that flooded you whenever you failed to keep them secured behind those mental walls you built.

That was when she entered the room. Her emotions hit him softly and all at once. Nervousness at the typical first day and contentment that she had finally found a group of people. Jasper looked over the students and zeroed in on her immediately as she was being escorted to the same table that held Mike Newton. Perhaps he could arrange a friendship there with Alice's help, a kindred soul would do Mike a great deal of good.

Listening in on the conversation he could not help but hear that Bella had asked about the group of students. Jessica Stanley had taken it upon herself to educate her on everything Cullen, that the school knew anyway as well as the most recent gossip surrounding them. His amusement must have been projecting because everyone else at his table was now looking at him with curious looks in their eyes. In answer he gave a brief nod toward the group of people he had been listening in on.

They all focused in as well and caught the tail end of the conversation. Stanley explaining that Rose and Emmett were together even though they were adopted siblings. The way she said it made it sound as though it was the biggest scandal that she had ever come across. To the small town of forks he supposed that it might just be the biggest scandal they had ever had.

Emmett was drawing attention as he was outright guffawing at what he had heard. It was loud and booming and filled with absolute mirth that was completely contagious. He had always enjoyed spending time with Emmett as his emotions were always so simple and straightforward. Most people had mixed emotions that were constantly changing but not him, when he felt something it was not layered with other things. He just felt what he felt and that was a great relief to someone who could sense the emotions of others.

Without realizing it Jasper had spent the rest of the lunch hour trapped in his own thoughts. The world had disappeared as he went deep into his own mind. His deep musings were interrupted by Alice as she placed her hand on his shoulder, a silent bidding to get up and follow her wherever she was planning on going. In this case he knew that it was to their shared class that began directly after the lunch hour.

With a heaved and unnecessary sigh he stood up at her bidding. It was something he was not looking forward too but was completely willing to do. It was required to fit in as they did that they maintain the appearance of teenagers. Even though he could more than likely educate the teachers on whatever subject they were currently being taught. Grabbing his messenger bag off the floor from beside his chair with practiced ease he focused on maneuvering the room at a human pace.

Rosalie was watching the road intensely as they were speeding along it. Her focus was completely on her driving as the red Maserati convertible navigated the twists and turns of the road leading to the main highway at break neck speeds. The speedometer pushing 80 miles per hour on a road where the speed limit was marked as 35.

She knew that the woman in the seat next to her would not question it. Hardly ever did she just storm out of the house while demanding that someone who was not her husband go on a drive with her. But she also knew that if she did not get Alice out of that house that she and Edward would have been all over Jasper for what they had undoubtedly knew happened this afternoon. She had heard whispered words of it after all. Though she had a definite feeling that Alice's emotions would be on the positive side.

They had been driving for close to an hour now but she had no intention of stopping. No set destination in mind as she knew that it would only give Alice a way to plan around the questions Rosalie would throw at her. She had seen the encounter this afternoon, Rosalie knew it, she just had to find a way to ask her about it without her avoiding the question.

"You saw it was going to happen." It was not a question, it was a blunt statement of fact. Which she happened to be particularly good at.

"Yes." She had expected that answer, now all she could do was hope for specifics of some kind. It was not like she Alice was exactly forthcoming with those kinds of things in the first place. Some bullshit about people not needing to know too much about their future decisions.

"Why'd you let it happen?" And that was the million dollar question.

Alice did not answer right away. Instead she chose to watch the forestry as they drove down the scenic highway towards Seattle. The world would have been blurry had she still been human as they past by everything. Rose still pushing the accelerator and getting ever faster as they approached dark. The sun had already sunk behind the trees before she dared speak again. Knowing the possibility of the wraith of her overprotective sister.

It was no secret that Rose and Jasper pretended to be twins because they were as thick as a pair of thief's. The amount of trust and understanding that flowed between the two of them was something she envied and admired in turn. For she had always known that they would be nearly inseparable once they met and bonded. They had both had traumatic lives and demons that followed them and that allowed for their relationship.

"It needed to happen." She paused, unsure of her phrasing. "He is good for her. She is going to be good for him. I can't tell you much because I don't know much. But I do know that he'll need you to be there for him Rose. In a way that I never could be."

Rose looked torn. Stuck between wanting to support her brother and wanting to protect him from everything. It was a struggle that she often had whenever his past managed to catch up to him and get him stuck in his own mind. Even though he needed to talk about it he wanted to hide it away. She knew some, but not everything that he had gone through. And she knew there was so much more damage than he had ever let her see. She was terrified that this would be what would break him.

If he got too close to that human it could tear him apart. If he slipped it would absolutely break him if he was attached to her. Not to mention the danger to the girl herself if Jasper continued to get to know her. Everything was changing and she knew she would have to make a choice soon. Protect or support and that would determine how her continued relationship with Jasper would go. She had a bad feeling about all of this.

"We'll see." Alice knew that was the best she was going to get. Because at the moment the conflict on Rose's face said everything that she could not. That for now that was the best that she was able to give.

They continued down the highway well into the night. Neither speaking another word towards the conversation that they had just had. Everything spoken and everything left unspoken still hanging heavily between them in the air. The moon was glowing as the clouds parted to reveal their starlight and allow the sky to shine down on those below it.

The muted sunlight that was reflected off the moon gave their skin a ghastly quality. Its reflection not near as distracting as direct sunlight but causing a reaction nonetheless. As they went down the highway chasing speeds faster than the average human they looked like they were glowing to the normal eye. Silver skinned and golden eyed goddesses that went flying past down the road to wherever.

Despite the tension Alice could not keep the smile off of her face. Living like this, on the edge of forever and watching the world go by truly was a miracle sometimes. It was everything that she wanted, as well as everything she had never asked for. Her human life was a black void but the eternity that displayed itself before her in moments like these made her feel almost normal. She could almost swear that she could hear the hollow sounding echo of a heartbeat even though she knew it had been over 80 years since hers had last made a sound.

They had finally made it home sometime after four in the morning. They had been driving for close to twelve hours and Jasper had kept watch out the window waiting for them to pull back in the driveway. The emotions he felt coming off of them almost made him wish he had allowed them their privacy without waiting for them aimlessly as he had.

Rosalie was strong willed as usual but filled with conflict deep inside her. Obviously something had happened on the ride to cause her such an internal war. Almost as if two halves of herself were fighting to have her pick one of them to follow in the end. Her knew personally what that was like and what they could do to you if you did not work through them properly. It was not hard to tear yourself apart when something was buried so deep within your being.

Alice however was clam, with a strange mix of acceptance, worry and resignation. But her display of support towards Rose was obvious when she reached over and placed her hand on top of the blonds. Everything about their body language screamed that something very intense had happened between the two. More than likely it had something to do with a vision that Alice had and he knew better than to ask after those kinds of things. The girl was a master at being cryptic and would tell you in due time if what she saw would effect you.

He heard the footsteps coming up the stairs and knew immediately that Carlisle was walking up them. Turning his attention away from the window he looked over towards the door of his study. Awaiting the arrival of the man who had been willing to take him in.

It was so secret that the others saw Carlisle as a father figure in their lives. Though that was honorable of the man he could not share the common sentiment. He had seen far too much in his years to be seen as any kind of son as he could not maintain that mindset. It seemed the feeling was mutual as he and the other man had always maintained a relationship and comradeship similar to that of friends from war. They both respected each other and saw the other as a equal.

The knock was no surprise, though to his hearing it sounded louder than it actually was. He muttered a low come in that he knew the older man heard clearly. The sound of a knob turning and a door opening confirmed this as he turned to look Carlisle in the eyes.

A look of understanding passed between them as Carlisle held up a folder. It was not an uncommon thing for the man to be researching something and to ask for Jaspers opinion on it. He had time and experience as well as the bonus of being s fresh set of eyes to whatever he had chosen to take on this time.

"I was hoping you could look at this and tell me if the information was correct. Aro asked this of me as a favor. To assure that accurate information on the Southern Vampire Territory Wars was acquired by their investigations. They would like to file it in their archives." That was no surprise, many people often asked Carlisle or Jasper about these kinds of things. Not many vampires who were around for those wars had made it out of them alive.

"Of course. When do they want it by?" It was likely that he would be sent with the information to meet the Volturi member that was sent to verify it. It would be merely a professional meeting but one that he would like to be aware of well in advance of the situation. But he had a bad feeling about this.

"They would like it prepared at your earliest convenience. They provided a burner cell phone number to set up the retrieval meeting." That was no surprise, but the lack of set date was. It would be this weekend before he really had the chance to sit down and look at it so he hoped the person would not mind waiting all that much. Not that it would matter if they did if Aro gave them orders to stay until they had the information.

"Very well. I will call them as soon as I have had a chance to go over it." The look on Carlisle's face told him he felt that something was amiss here. It was something he could not help but mirror with him own thoughts.

"Be careful Jasper, chances are that they will want more information when you meet. It is not in Aro's nature to pass up an opportunity to acquire a vampire as experienced as yourself." That was what he feared then. It was nothing new to worry about at least. Many people sought him out over the years to attempt to have a fighter with such a reputation on their side in wars or disputes.

"I am well aware Carlisle. Unless something changes my answer shall remain the same as the last time they offered me a position." At that Carlisle nodded and handed over the yellow envelope before taking his leave.

Jasper stood up and made his way over to the wooden desk that was placed in the left hand corner of the room. The oak felt smooth beneath his fingers as he dragged them along the edges as he made his way around it. Mind distracted he opened up the top drawer on the right hand side and placed the information within it. He would go over it this weekend as he said he would.

Though they would more than likely need an excuse for at least two days of school next week. He was never in a good headspace after trips down memory lane and he could not risk slipping up. Especially not with a meeting with messengers of the Volturi imminent. He could not help but wonder who they had sent this time.

The last time they had extended an invitation to him was in the late 80's. They had sent Demetri and another member of the guard who was obviously not experienced. He could tell by the fear rolling off of the young woman whose name he had never learned that she had heard tales of him. And the caution that came off of Demetri told him that the male was wary about his ability, and rightly so. It was no secret who would come out the winner even if Demetri could hold his own very well.

You did not get a reputation like his without being able to back it with actions. Back it with actions he had done. When the wars had first been over three members of the Elite Guard had mistaken him for someone else and attacked him with the intent to kill. He had quickly dispatched them and sent them cowering back to their master with the knowledge that he was not who they were seeking out. He could still remember the hatred on the young blond woman's face as he sent them on their merry way with the information.

Remembering that moment had him nearly laughing. It was one of his finer moments, he was sure. Not many could say they had sent the Volturi packing and had lived much longer afterwords. He supposed that must say something about how badly Aro and his brothers wanted to have his skill set at their bidding.

 **A/N ; okay, I need you guys to let me know what ya'll think. What do you wanna see, what do you not want to see? What do you think about it so far? I won't hold reviews over peoples heads but they do motivate me to write faster. Just saying. So feedback please because RL has been kicking my ass and it took forever to get all 7,031 words of this written.**

 **If you see any mistakes point em out. Cause I am still beta searching.**

 **Love you all, bye babes.**


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